The Sky is Falling--Again!

We're all gonna die. For real this time.

The Right To Bear Arms-- Against The Undead!

It is time. The battle lines have been drawn, and new information has come to light. As we draw nearer to All Hallows' Eve, we must choose the leader of the Counter Zombie Insurgency, because River and his people have exposed their Pro-Zombie agenda. We must be ready to fight. Furthermore, we have to outdo them.

To that end, we are hosting a contest to elect that leader. In order to determine who has the best plan, we'll need our faithful readers to come together to demonstrate their capabilities to lead us to salvation. We've amassed a catalog of items and have an allowance of $1,000 for each candidate. Whoever can best use their allowance and most creatively hatch a plan to ensure the safety of the human race will win.

Points will be awarded for use of visual aids and photographs. While we've provided a list of supplies, finding base camp and shelter is entirely up to you. You may acquire your base through either legal or illegal means. Those means may be called into judgment for better or worse, but don't let it get in the way of your plan. Just post it in the comments section, and we'll do the rest.


Supplies
Shotgun--$200
Handgun--$100
Flame thrower--$100
Generator--$100
Fully stocked First Aid kit--$20
PowerWheelz Barbie Jeep--$45
Box of ammo--$10
Sixteen inch novelty bow tie--$15
The Nuge--$62.99
Sarah Palin blow up doll--$25
20 LB Propane tank--$40
Hunting knife--$50
Cardboard cutout of Henry Winkler as the Fonz--$15
MagLite with charger--$20
Al Qaeda brand box cutter--$5
100 ft. nylon rope--$10
Duct tape--$2

Food
5 gallon jug of water--$5
Brick of government cheese--$2
Pop Rocks--$0.50/pack
Canned foods of all kinds--$0.50 ea
Cheetos--$2
Case of Natural Ice--$7
Al Qaeda con queso in a can--$0.75
Organic soy cheese--Free
750ml Skol vodka--$5

All contestants will earn a featured spot in the hallowed pages of Shoulda Woulda Coulda, but only one entrant will win the coveted first prize: for Illinois winners, a viewing of the film Quarantine with Nora; for Kansas winners, a viewing of the film with Mitchell, and for those who aren't lucky enough to live near SWC principals, we will hook you up with two tickets in your own city. But we won't buy the popcorn and Jujubees.

No Zombie Love, Indeed

Sorry, River. We here at SWC are serious about our anti-zombie sentiments. While I respect your desire to be contrary, we can't let you and your ilk pose a threat to the human race, especially so close to Halloween when the undead are at their wiliest. We hereby challenge you and your Pro-Zombie followers to a duel.

Stay tuned for details!

How Far Have We Really Come?

Ratherto, when it comes to The Sky Is Falling situations, you always bring it back to the obvious threat: zombies. Well, we at SWC haven't come very far in our strategy since The Nuge so rudely dismissed our first attempt to solve the crisis.

We have a lot of work to do, people. Stay strong and get busy. The Sky Is Falling.

PS: Bawk bawk.

How the World Will End

My friend Season sent this to me. It's some funny shit.

PS: We're all gonna die!

The Sky Is Falling

As if a hurricane in New York weren't terrifying enough, I happened to be perusing my favorite sites, and the Hobo Stripper informed me that martial law is upon us.

Is it true or a conspiracy theory?

I'm going to put my vote in The Sky Is Falling box.