Wednesday, June 25, 2008

A Few Things

Let's get a few things straight: the Sex and the City movie was for shit, wine cubes are Tits and Ass Part 7 and this YouTube video sent to me by my dear friend, Season, is too funny not to share.

Let me elaborate.

I went to see the SatC movie knowing full well it was going to be an overlong episode that never needed to be made in the first place. Of course it was going to suck, but I was compelled to see for myself, having thought the show was the ultimate brain candy. Besides, I cannot resist an outing with my Greek Girls.

I'll lay it out to you: the movie distilled all of the cliches, puns, over-the-top fashion, vast shortage of character development and weak plot/subplots into a liqueur of total and complete schlock. All the same, cracking jokes, chowing on smuggled candy and criticizing the movie equaled a fun night out. My verdict? Rent it when you're hung over, smoke a joint, drink cheap champagne mimosas and let your brain cells die a glorious death. *Spoiler alert!

Second on the agenda is my new friend, Wine Cube. I can't even tell you the name brand because it's all the way in the fridge and I'm all the way in my brown chair, but I can tell you the concept if you're not already familiar: it's box of wine of the future. Little juiceboxes for mommy. Nice. Four "single" servings of the wine of your choice. And let me tell you, it's a big pour.

Finally, I encourage you to check out the link. It wasn't just because I had consumed one "single" serving of my wine cube. It's not even because I became 70% stupider (more stupid?) after watching the Sex in the City movie. It's just a fine parody of a popular R&B song, and anyone with a sense of humor can appreciate it.

That's it. That's all I got. Thanks for letting me purge my estrogen-fueled demons. Not like you had any choice.

*Charlotte shits her pants.

PS: Buzzed blogging may result in nonsense and typographical errors.

11 comments:

theeriver said...

Sex in the City was a bad movie....NOO! Say it isn't so. *sniffle* I promised myself I wouldn't cry *sniffle* Be strong River...be strong. We can weather this.

Nora said...

Listen here, Chicken Sarcasm: stuff it. Heh heh. I know. I knew the movie was gonna suck ass, and I was right, but sometimes you just have to open wide and eat the schlock sammich.

theeriver said...

WTF is a schlock sammich? Make sure there's no tomatoes on that.

Ratherto said...

I think Nora was being nice and not saying "shit sandwich". Sometimes you just have to take a bite and hang your head in shame. Personally, I had to deal with going to see Snakes on a Plane opening night. I did it, and I'd do it again.

Nora said...

Thank you for understanding me, as ever, Ratherto. You called it.

Slippy said...

I question your sanity on seeing the movie. I can't even stand the series, but oh wine cube. I love wine cube. It is really the reason I make so many unnecessary trips to Target which reminds me I think I need to go there tonight.

Nora said...

Slips--questioning my sanity? You're wise.

I didn't know you were also a wine cube afficianado. Did I spell that right? Now that I am aware of that, I'll make sure I bring them to Dr Hope's Dungeon next time.

theeriver said...

Well I'll be damned Schlock is a real word.

Schlock

n. Something, such as merchandise or literature, that is inferior or shoddy.

adj. Of inferior quality; cheap or shoddy.


cited from dictionary.com

It is true you learn something everyday.

Nora said...

What, do you think I make this shit up, River?

theeriver said...

I thought it was a bastardaztion of a cuss word, and not an actual word. I was wrong.

Nora said...

Oh, doll. When I want to cuss, I just fucking cuss!