Lamest Blogger Ever

That's me. What's up? What can I say? I'm all over the place. Anyway, before Baby Cakes wakes up from his nap, I thought I'd do a little recrappin' here.

Juderonomy and Poohpah are back from their month-long trek to the Deep South. I was starting to think they would never return, but they did and I was sure happy to see them. Funny story. They came over last Monday when I was still hungover from the Ball and my brutal fight with White Castles. What did they bring? White Castles. So, I pulled a Rhianna and got back together with the Sack of Ten. I'm so weak.

In other news, I went to see Mary Poppins the musical with my sister in law, Diva. I just went along because she asked me and I figured why not? I had no interest in seeing it, didn't really care for the movie when I was a kid. But what the hell? I love musical theater, so I went.

It was ludicrous. In a good way. It was tripped out and hilarious. There was a part in the park where some of the statuary comes to life and the costumes left little to the imagination. You could distinguish religions and shit. Diva and I clutched each other in laughter and kept squeaking out the words, "Camel toe! Camel toe!"

Aside from jiggling junk all over the stage, the set design was incredible, the song and dance numbers were hilarious and served as a time machine to our childhoods. I found myself filing away Maryisms for future use. For instance, the next time my boss asks me to explain myself, I will respond with a tinkle of laughter and say, "Why, Mr. Banks, when have I ever explained myself?"

Verdict: Great show. Lots of fun, good for the kids, but there was plenty of male and female genitalia on display for the grown-ups, too.

This weekend brought my favorite city girl, Season, over for a visit. We ate our body weight in Italian deli meats, had cocktail hour and played with Baby Cakes. On Saturday, we returned to the mothership, Ann Sather in Andersonville. I love to binge on the crab cake benedict and the sticky buns. So freaking delish. For the first time in a long time, I stayed home and did homework on a weekend evening. It was nice to wake up Sunday all refreshed. With a throbbing toothache. Son of a bitch.

Yesterday I took two eighth grade girls to the mall to shop for their graduation dance outfits. I must say, the three of us ladies did very well together. Team work and shit. They are both outfitted very nicely. I was able to deflect each and every attempt to hooch it up with an, "I don't think so." Actually, neither of them are inclined to be very hoochie-like, but still. Then I got to have dinner with Mister, B.C. and my cousin's family. It is so funny to watch B.C. play with girls. He's such a little bull in a china shop.

And finally, the last hours of my weekend were devoted to cocktail hour in Mister's man cave out back. Heidi and I had to cut loose and blow off some steam, which we did. It only required one bottle of wine, too, so I feel good today. Aside from this toothache. Son of a bitch!

Anyway, it was a nice weekend of visiting with my loved ones and dodging hangovers. I got a lot of work done and got lots of rest. On a scale of 1 - 10, I give this weekend an 8.5.

I'm going to try to make a comeback. I can't promise anything as wonderful as blogging about cheddar or asteroids, but I will give it a shot. Feel free to assign me with topics. Sometimes assignments are just what I need to get it going, you know? So shit, yeah. That's it. Assign me topics and I will write them. Nothing is off limits. Throw it at me. I challenge you.