Friday, September 19, 2008

Food Porn Bonanza

What's up, suckas? You know I'm here to talk about food ... again. It seems I don't have a whole lot else going on in my life beyond food, glorious food, marvelous food. I love my food.

Anyhow, it was Lady's birthday last night, so Hot Buns Murphy and I went downtown to take Lady to Bob San. While I feel decent, tasty sushi is available every ten yards in the greater metropolitan area, I have to say, Bob San is consistently awesome. We tore it up.

We started with the classic appetizers, edamame and seaweed salad. To the uninitiated, edamame are soy beans served in the pod, steamed in salt water. You just pop them out of the pod into your slobbering, slavering mouth and yum. Delicious. Careful, though, guys--don't hit them too hard. Soy beans have estrogen-mimicking phytogens in them, and I'd hate to see you grow some tits over dinner.

I know seaweed salad sounds gross, but dudes, it's awesome. The texture is singular--toothsome, al dente strips of tangy seaweed marinated in sesame and rice wine vinegar, served with thin cucumber discs, garnished with strings of daikon radish and sprinkled with sesame seeds. We also got the rainbow roll, a sushi classic, but we got ours with real king crab. I refuse to eat Krab Stik in any seafood restaurant. Ever. That shit is nasty. We also got the House Crunch roll, which is a spicy mayo roll rolled in Panko crumbs. I forget what kind of fish was in it, probably tuna, but who cares? It was delicious.

Our sashimi was perfect. We got our standard tuna and salmon sashimi style, because rice only gets in the way of the divine goodness of raw fish that has the consistency of buttah. We finally convinced Lady to try the ama ebi, that is, shrimp sushi with the heads served seperately--deep fried and delicious. Raw shrimp requires the rice, so get it nigiri style. The rice helps offset the slightly slimy nature of the shrimp while allowing you to enjoy the raw shrimp flava.

Eating the heads is the most fun. The eyeballs stare at you from their little dried out stalks, seeming to say, "Whyyyy? Why do you want to eaaaaat meeeee?" But the crunch is not to be missed. I will only eat shrimp heads when deep fried. That is my standard. But get 'em while they're hot. The antennae get mad sharp once they cool off too much. Get those down quick or it's like swallowing needles.

I finally got the guts to try salmon roe, those big, globular orange eggs. I love most caviar, when it's crunchy and little, like the flying fish eggs used ubiquitously on sushi, but those salmon eggs are so big and juicy...I only tried one, but it was as I suspected. A salty, juicy pop, too viscous for my liking--salmon roe truly is the tomato of the sea, and henceforth, not for me. It was ok. I didn't gag. But I didn't love it. It joins sea urchin roe as the other item in sushi that I won't eat. Oh, and makerel. It tastes too fishy. I know, raw fish that tastes fishy? Go figure. But I think it's nasty and I won't eat it. Besides, raw fish is supposed to neither smell nor taste fishy. It's supposed to smell clean and oceany. If your fish smells fishy, something fishy is going on. So there.

Anyway, that was the third seafood dinner I had this week. Monday, Slippy and I hit Tin Fish for her birthday. I introduced her to oysters. You know how I feel about oysters, right? Well, she loved them, too. Another addict! I knew I could turn her out ... Tuesday, the Mr and I went to dinner and I had substandard fish at the Limestone City Grill. Overcooked and boney. But whatever. No biggie. Last night was sushi and tomorrow ... Tomorrow Luke Baggins and I are taking on the Calumet Fishery for "Fish Crack". Smoked chub (best food item name EVER!), smoked shrimp and more. Stay tuned. We're getting down and dirty on the East Side, bitches, and we'll have the pictures to prove it!

12 comments:

Ratherto said...

Roasted Chub..HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm easily amused

theeriver said...

Well in about an hour and a half I start an orgy of the damned, that will culminate in my birthday on Friday. Don't know if I'm going to go Downtown, or Milwaukee a few days. But there will definately be some food porn.

Official invite for any of you SWC readers who wants to come to JW Holdstiens 10pm Friday the 26th.

If you make Olympic Star at 5am, The water is on me. Guarenteed.

Mike said...

Did you say estrogen-mimicking phytogens? Well, I'll be damned, an ex of mine used to feed me edamame regularly.

Nora said...

Ryan--smoked chub, not roasted. Smoked chub is infinitely funnier. As in man, I wish that chick would smoke my chub. Right? Hilarious.

River--I'm totally going to bring it on your birthday. Let's take pictures of each other taking pictures of each other taking pictures for each other's blogs.

Mike--fight the power!

Luke Baggins said...

I said I would look for a way to put porn music in the background for food porn posts. Blogger doesn't have an "add sound file" feature that I know of, but you could post a link to one of these fine tracks on dizzler. Debbie Does Dallas is the only one I listened to, and it works pretty well.

Luke Baggins said...

Here you go: put this link at the top of a food porn post, and porn music will start playing automatically in the background.

Jude said...

Good food porn needs no music...we here the valkeries in our heads...each of us has our own food porn song!!!Sometimes it's a chant...sometimes a lullaby...but most often it is a WAR SONG....eat,eat,eat,ENJOY,ENJOY,ENJOY.....burp! burp! burp!...AAAHHHHH!!!!

Jude said...

SP HEAR......my bad..thinking about food...

Jude said...

HAPPY B-DAY LADY....I know I'm late...but have a great year....luv ya.........Me

Nora said...

I'm on it. Bow chicka wow.

Nora said...

Aw, man. The link thing doesn't seem to be working. We can hatch a plan over some fish crack tomorrow, holmes.

Ratherto said...

Riv - I would be there, but I'm out of town of Friday.