Saturday, July 19, 2008

If the Bra Fits

Cruising the aisles of Target as I so often do, I stepped five paces past the diapers to the girls' section. What did I see?

Padded bras.

I stopped my cart and said, "Holy--" I almost finished that with, "fucking SHIT," but I saw a nice middle-aged lady who turned and looked at me. She turned her head to see why I was aghast.

"Oh, I know. It gets even worse. They sell thongs for little girls, too. Not here, I don't think, but they have them. Isn't it awful?"

Usually, my stomach doesn't churn like that when looking at items on display at Target. But as I reached out to feel the material of the tiny bra cup, surprised at the density of the padding, I shuddered. I felt a wave of sickness for not only the prepubescent girls who feel they need to appear chesty, but for the mothers who actually purchase padded bras for their little girls.

What the hell is going on?

Mitchell's boss, Cody, recently had an interesting discussion on his blog regarding an exclusive country club in Phoenix that has a men's only restaurant section. Cody's question was: Should the law legislate such a separate facility illegal? The discussion was certainly interesting, and I was the first woman to sound off on the topic.

My answer was No. The government shouldn't intervene because there are far more important gender issues to fight than whether or not rich women could have a steak with their husbands, or at all, in the restaurant. I was chastised by a few of the responders. Apparently, my answers weren't feminist enough. At first, I felt patronized and annoyed by their remarks, but after I regrouped and thought about why I answered the way I did, I realized I felt the same as I had before.

This is an example of a real battle worth fighting: making people ask why manufacturers and retail outlets would ever see fit to make lingerie whose sole purpose is to enhance a female's sexuality and then market it to children. Little girls. Making mothers ask themselves why they would ever agree to purchase items that make their daughters appear as though they had breasts when they hadn't even yet begun puberty.

Yes, I know: puberty is beginning sooner in girls. I've heard the news. I remember when JS developed boobs in third grade and had to wear a bra by fourth grade. That was a terrible time for that poor girl, but that's not my point. If you already have boobs as a little girl, then sure, you need a bra. But no child needs to accentuate what she doesn't already have for the purposes of looking older, more ripe.

Why do marketers feel the need to apply the "sex sells" theory to children? Why does a little girl need to feel less worthy and more unacceptable unless she has at least the illusion of a sexy body? What kind of parent wants their pre-teen child to exude sex appeal? These questions are at the root of gender issues and problems in our society.

I'm not going to say it's awful to be a female. I love being a woman, and I love being with other women (socially, not sexually, so quit pervin'. But, lesbians, you are all right with me, sisters). I will say, though, that the challenges that face young girls and grown women aren't getting better with time. The challenges have simply become more difficult to identify and define.

If it's ok to shill undergarments to enhance sex appeal to little girls, that indicates a fundamental problem with the way corporate America and American consumers view what females are supposed to be.

If it's ok to start poking at female body insecurity before puberty in order to increase sales, there is a fundamental problem with how females are viewed and how we view ourselves in this society.

If it's ok for girls to flaunt sex appeal before they can even truly understand its ramifications and consequences but NOT properly educate them about what sex is, there is a fundamental problem with the very weave of our society.

I had a great conversation with my friends one night about plastic surgery. We talked about some girls we know who had had "some work done" and we talked about my small-ass titties and what a drag it is trying to become ok with myself the way nature made me. They, like everyone, suggested I just get a boob-job if it's that important to me.

It's not.

It is far more important for me to try to overcome what the rest of the world sees as acceptable and desirable and love myself for who and what I am that it is for me to lie down, get gassed, and undergo a violent procedure so that guy over there will think, "Damn. Nice tits." Or so everyone will admire my rack, or so my husband will love me more.

Do I think it's wrong for other women to do it? Not at all.

But for the women who do alter themselves surgically to fit the profile of "perfect" or "sexy", are they going to look at their daughter's pleading eyes while they brandish little bras and thongs and give in because they understand the insecurities they feel? Or are they going to say, "No. That won't make you love yourself more."

My point is, I'm thirty-one years old. I've struggled my whole life to at least start loving myself for the way I was made, for who and what I am. I'm going to battle hard feelings toward myself for not being naturally tall, thin and curvy with perfect hair and teeth. I, like most other people, have good days and bad days where I accept myself as I am more or less. I'm old enough to think critically by now. I can see the difference between illusion and reality, and I know it's important to find a way to accept myself the way I am.

But what about tiny little girls who haven't even learned long division? They haven't even learned what a uterus IS, let alone what it does. And we promote their desire to mimic sexy women by masquerading their prepubescent, non-existent breasts with padded bras? And accentuate their asses in thong underwear?

How is that alright? And what are we going to do with this burgeoning generation of women who view themselves in the ways we're currently teaching them to? To me, this is a big deal. To me, this indicates that the girls who are up and coming in this society are going to be even more confused and self-hating that I was at that age, in junior high, in high school and college. In grad school, when I got married, when I became a mother ...

Do I think the law should legislate against designing sexy lingerie for children? People would have to notice and care before that even became an issue. While this topic is enough to raise my ire, I don't really see a whole lot of people caring about whether or not retail outlets sell kiddie lingerie. What I do think is important is to make other people aware of it. My part in that will be to tell everyone who will listen what I saw, why I think it's wrong and of the multitude of levels that it sickens me. And you can bet your sweet collective ass Target Corp. is getting a letter from yours truly.

This is a tumultuous time to be a female, especially a child or someone who doesn't care to think critically, and instead absorbs the messages fed to us by the media and perpetuated by people who either don't know that the messages are contradictory or are just plain wrong. While it appears that women today have power in education, the workforce, and in society in general, it also appears that we're still supposed to be ready to demonstrate our sex appeal by age seven. How far have we really come?

Who is going to teach little girls to develop their intellects and personalities, their "selves", which go far beyond how they look and how attractive they are, how close they can get to reaching the physical ideal. Who is going to teach and reinforce the apparently ridiculous and fantastical notion that they are so much more than tits and ass?


Tara said...

This culture is so fucked.

Jude said...

You know how I feel about this subject,and others that follow the same text.I have fought this idea of promoting accelerated "maturity" my whole adult life.To find acceptance in what you wear,or what name is on your shoes is saying your value as a person is only defined by how much money you can spend.As a parent I fought long hard battles to try and instill the fact that a persons worth was more than the package it came dressed up in.It wasn't easy to say no most of the time,and explain that when Gloria Vanderbilt(who had a miriad of her own issues)paid me to advertise her name on the butt of the jeans I would buy them.Children need guidance,not parents that fall into the trap that their kids will fail socially if they don't buy all of Madison Avenues crap.This lingerie issue is totally SICK,and I should be appalled,but I'm not. I look around and see all manners of parents that think it's cute!Then I look at the Botoxed out Mom,and I see where it's coming from.
There is a saying from when my siblings(brothers) were in their teens and dating....All flash and no scratch....meaning the girl was all about her looks,and there was no substance to her.I thought that was pretty enlightened for boys that age...and it was true.
As long as we allow, and buy into all the advertising hype that you'll never be anything,or happy without the schlock they're shilling,then we are going to be raising a generation of kids who will mindlessly march to the next catchy jingle and buy into "IT".
I find it sad that a parent would even think to buy a little girl such crap,and I like you, Nora, am going to start a letter campaign to remove those type of items from said stores.Marketers don't care about anything but the bottom line..$$$$$..and you can't legislate intelligence or morality.but at least you can fight little battles against whatever you feel is harmful.

Nora said...

Damn straight, mommy.

Cody Heitschmidt said...

Holy crap... I get all geared up to jump into this discussion and then "THE JUDE" gets in first and makes anything I follow with seem ridiculous.

VERY well said Jude. Mr's Jude?? Don't feel like I am on a first name basis with you yet, someday.

Here is my encapsulated version.

Tell me who to write the letter to... I have an 11 year old daughter, I don't wanna talk about how fast she is maturing cause it's faster than a daddy wants but she will be taught morals and self-respect (as well as respecting others). That is what is missing from this equation... Morals and respect.

Please Jesus it isn't laws. We can't make laws against Target carrying padded bras for little girls. It won't work and it is a waste of time, very similar to making laws forcing men to allow women into their card game. hehe.

What we can do is take care of it at the private level. 2 ways:

1. If you are passionate enough about it... Start the letters and petitions and let them fly, try to affect Target's buyers.

2. Take care of business at home, raise daughters with self-respect and sons that respect women and this stuff will never have a strong-hold in our society. We will never ever get rid of it. But we can be a part of making it not cool.

It's a moral issue and you know I don't like to legislate morals, but that doesn't mean I don't think we need to do something.

Mr's Jude... if you would wait until I comment I would appreciate it cause your stuff is better than mine and it looks like I am copying you. hehe lol just kidding.

Nora said...

Cody, I think you can call her Jude.

I agree with you fully, Cody. There is no legislating stuff like that, but I have told everyone who at least pretended to listen about how ticked off I am. Just thinking about it has my heart rate jacked up to aerobic speed, which is great, because I have no intention of going to the gym today, anyway.

Write a letter to Target Corp. I plan to do so. The petition idea is good, one I hadn't considered. I'm not sure I can convince any signees to actually boycott Target until they yank children's lingerie from the floor, but as Jude always says, shit flows downhill. Most corporations don't dig angry letters. Even if it doesn't have the desired outcome, at least I did something.

Thanks for reading and commenting, Cody. I agree with Tara that our culture is fucked, but I don't think it's a lost cause.

Now the other thing that chaps my hide is the fact that Target is one of many retail outlets selling "prostitot" gear. I don't know what to do about that except to maybe forward the letter to them. If I can't dent their bottom lines with my anger, at least I can tell them that some consumers are aware and do care that they're sexualizing kids for profit.

Jenn said... is ironic that you posted this!

Just yesterday, while waiting for the sermon to start at church, I was sitting with a gaggle of kids, including my own, when I turned to look as my niece walked in the door. My jaw dropped and I had to literally scrape it off the floor as I noticed that this little 10 year old (who was born just a mere 14 hours before my own daughter) had boobs! She was wearing a tank and a little pink and white bra that was more than visible under the tank and it was very much padded! I was completely shocked that she was wearing this at all, let alone to church.
What is the name of, well anything that you believe in, is wrong with my sister-in-law! Why on Earth does this little, sweet innocent 10year old need to have this kind of under garments and appear to have baby cleavage?! I was so shocked that she was wearing this that I just couldn't even say anything! Why does a 10 year old feel the need to have a bust line? Shouldn't they be playing with their Barbie’s?

In my opinion, I think that the standard that most people in the country hold them to is depreciating year by year...hell, minute by minute! Parents want to be a child's friend and not their role model. Young girls as young as 6 and 7 find the need to look sexy or appealing to the opposite sex and they are forgetting to be what they are...CHILDREN!
I know a woman that encourages her newly 16 year old daughter to dress sexy and be provocative...I have seen some pictures that this woman taken of her very own young "lady" for her myspace page and frankly, it makes me want to vomit. Short skirts and low cut tops and standing in Hustler type poses and it is VERY disturbing.

Being a mother of a 10 year old myself, I sat and thought about this. It is a fact that the youth of today are maturing at a younger age and they are bigger these days. My daughter is on the bigger side, she is tall and solid and she has been wearing a bra for about 6 months now. Would I allow my own daughter to wear this padded bra? Absolutely not! I think that it is ridiculous for my niece to have this bra and there is absolutely no reason for it. I mean, if you need the bra, which she and my daughter do, then is apart of becoming a young woman, but why do they feel the need to appear sexy at such a young age?

This just comes down with the way society regards how people should look. There is more and more pressure to look a certain way, to be a certain way and to have certain things. We see how models look and most of do not understand that they way they look is insane! Most of these women do not eat and if they do they are purging anything and everything they put in there mouths or they not eating enough to be healthy (that subject will be for a later blog…) Pictures are digitally touched up, flaws are removed! What we see in those pages of magazines and on movies is not what is real. Yet, we aspire to try and keep up with this unattainable image and become epigones in the race to be “Most Desirable.” Well, I for one want better for my daughter. I do not want her to feel the way I did when I was a little older than she is now…that she has to be this perfect, popular princess to be loved and accepted. I want her to be her own person and not follow the crowd. We have had discussion about being popular in school and what she really wants out of her school experience when she gets older. She is a very creative kid that loves to read and sing and create things. She wants to be in theatre and chorus and band; I truly hope she keeps those aspirations and interests. I think I was too busy in school trying to be the “cool” kid and trying to be the tough girl that I missed out on some of the best times of my life. I spent too much time worrying about a boy or what people thought of that I forgot to reach for my dreams and goals…I don’t want her to lose sight of the things that she wants to accomplish. I want her to be the dorky band kid! I want her to be herself, her own little woman, I will fight tooth and nail to keep her that way…to encourage her to do positive things with her life, to reach for every goal that she can think of…the sky is the limit and I tell her that every day! There is no dream that is unattainable…I will NOT take little smutty pictures of her for her myspace! (What is WRONG with that woman?)
We have to be positive role models for our children….what kind of parents would we be if we weren’t? We need to encourage our children and protect them and teach them how to deal with everything that this world has to throw at them. So many children have shitty parents that they do not know how to act or how to function in life situations, thus creating a vicious cycle or shitty parents.
Wow, I am all over the place here and my mind is spinning on so may things I want to get out…
That is it for now…I have to work…lol!

(btw, this is my first time blogging here, so sorry I rambled and jumped all over…I can see myself becoming an addict tho…lol!)

Nora said...

Jenn, well said. We grew up in the same time and place, so I know exactly what you're talking about. We remember that rat-race all too well, but fortunately, instead of giving in to what is now seen as cool and acceptable, you're encouraging P to develop interests that will actually result in her being an interesting, well-rounded and talented person--not a slave to popular opinion and fashions that don't represent who she is or who she wants to be.

I can imagine you would have choice words for those girls' moms. How do you think they would react if you were to question their choices to sexualize their kids like that? Do you think they're aware of the messages they're reinforcing? Do you think they have any idea what the repercussions might be? I'm curious to know what goes on in the minds of grown women who are more concerned with being viewed as "cool" by their children than as a source of boundaries and guidance.

Jude said...

I said in one of my previous RANTS that our job(full time) as parents is to be the PARENT,not the older cool friend.I tried to show my kids from an early age(approx 2yrs)all the advertising hype was just a way to get money into the coffers of the merchandisers,and would do nothing to enhance them as a person.I think most of what I tried to teach stuck.A child is only a child for a very short while,and when you reach being an adult it is forever!!! No going back.
It's hard to keep kids away from all that they're exposed to,T.V. videos,print,music,etc.But that is our job to explain why it's there...$$$$$$,not to make them better, smarter,kinder people.
The insecurities of these moms(and the dads are culpable also for allowing this behavior)is a major part of the problem.Is it to make them feel beter if Baby Jane looks like she's 18 when she's 10? Then when said child does reach 18 mom is in a panic and trying to look the same age,and only looks like a fool.Believe me,geting older has its advantages,and no one likes to see the aging start,but I know that I earned my is a road map of my life..each laugh line,each worry line, each gray hair has its own story,and I will never Botox,or erase one of them(tho I do lighten my hair),to do so would be denying my past and what my kids brought to me.I have insecurities too,did I teach my kids their value as REAL people,did I spend enough time with them doing what they liked,did I expose them to the world and let them go to find what was important to them?? I think so,and I hope so.
I feel shame when I see Parents buy into all the B.S. that is out there,shame that they are so shallow as to use their own kids in that way,shame that they think so little of themselves that they can't say no to something that is so fundimentaly harmful to a young child,and shame that we actually have to have this discussion.
Probably the parents that should be reading these postings aren't...but it does give me hope that enough have read some of these and start discussions with their own friends and think about what can be done to keep the CHILD in CHILDHOOD.

PS.Cody, you can call me Jude!!!

Ratherto said...

This problem is part of the growing trend of sexualizing children. It started slowly with Britney Spears dancing down a school hallway in a sexy little catholic school girl uniform when she was sixteen! While that didn't seem like such a big deal (I mean sixteen's close enough to eighteen, right?)then it has slowly spiraled out of control. These marketers and advertising people have to know that what they are doing is affecting prepubescent girls, even though they claim that it's not geared towards them. Now while I've gone on record before stating that men are not as hard on women as women think they are, I have an addendum to that. High school boys are just that boys. They can be extremely hard on girls around their age. I remember being in school and hearing guys call the girls horrible things. I wish I could say that I was pure and just and never did any of that, but I can't. While I may not be as much in the wrong as others (JG!- Nora I'll tell you later)it was still wrong. On the other side of this is that other girls in high school can be extremely hard on each other. Some girls develop sooner than others. This can lead to same thing as the boys teasing them. Eventually, it starts to wear down your self esteem. I don't care how strong you are emotionally. If someone or a group of someones calls you ugly or fat or stupid or flat four six years straight, you will break down a little. Once that happens a person (girls or boys) will look around and try to emulate what they see as an ideal. Whether that is Britney, Christina, Brad Pitt or Evan Dando (The Lemonheads..look it up young ones). The point of it all is that we as society and parents need to tell our children that they are who they are and it doesn't matter what you look like or how tall or short or fat or skinny you are, you are a person that is loved by someone and fuck everybody else and what they think. Grow as a person, become the best at something you love, make them all eat their words at you 10 year reunion, do something great with your life. You don't need to cater to someone else's ideal of perfection, you are perfect in your own way. Nature is a wonderful thing. We are born and then we die, what you do in between is up to you.

Nora said...

Well, it didn't start with Britney, but she certainly made it more acceptable. I mean, I remember watching Madonna in the 80s, and believe me, she wasn't exactly a role model, sartorially speaking.

You bring up a good point, Ratherto:

Girls are harder on each other and themselves than men could ever attempt to be. Although mean comments and rumors started by boys can hurt a girl and wreck her reputation, the viciousness girls suffer at the hands of each other is probably the worst social hell I can personally remember.

But that's because boys don't play by the same complex social rules that girls do. It's easier for boys. Now, men, however... Different story. They know exactly what they're doing when they undermine a female. If a woman expresses an opinion in the same assertive manner as a man, it's not seen as assertive. It's seen as "bitchiness". Women who don't smile all the time like fucking morons are seen as bitches. Do you see men walking around smiling all the time?

How many women do all of you know who say, "I don't like other women," or "I get along better with men"?

When I hear that, it breaks my heart. I know how women can be, but at the same time, I know that I couldn't make it without my female friends and family. Keeping women busy competing for men, for social position, competing against each other for professional success does serve to uphold the male dominated society.

I'm not trying to get all conspiracy theorist here, but I see some of the good points made in this comment thread coming together to form sort of a theory in my head:

It's good business to keep females striving for an ideal that they chase through merchandise. By subtly and not subtly demanding that we fit a certain profile, marketers can ensure that we will spend hundreds of thousands of millions of dollars every year on products, clothing and services that are going to make us look and feel a certain way: attractive to men. We're so busy trying to fit the physical ideal AND educate ourselves, make money and have personal lives that we don't even see what's going on.

The truth is, while socially women have come further than they were fifty years ago, women still make $.77 to the men's $1.00. The theory behind that is because women don't typically ask for what they're worth. A man is more likely to ask for a raise and negotiate his salary aggressively. Women are not so likely to do this. It's not ladylike. I've had some discussions with women I know lately about attitudes in the workplace, and it's clear to me that expectations for men and women are vastly different--even from female upper management. They buy into the stereotypes and expectations, too.

I recently made the gross error of buying a Cosmopolitan magazine. What a total and complete insult to my intelligence. I looked at it first, as a chick who wanted to read something on a lounge chair poolside and then as a smart woman who is able to think critically.

What did I see?

Mostly ads for items that address my fat, my hair, my teeth, my skin, my tits, my ass, my vag. My chemical imbalances. My desire to be sleek, shiny and ready for consumption.

What else?

Articles that featured some of the most lax grammar, usage and style I've ever seen in a magazine targeted to adults. Maxim and FHM have better writers on their staffs, and those magazines don't even pretend to cater to intelligent thinking.

What didn't I see?

Any articles on developing professionally or intellectually. None of that; just articles on increasing sex appeal, catching and keeping men and trying to appear cute and non-threatening. Oh, and the euphemisms for sex, body parts and all of that. Puke all over the place. What a horrible magazine.

Sometimes I'm afraid I'm going to have a daughter who I'll have to guide past all of the social pitfalls and even watch fall on her face. I'm scared I'll have a daughter who will cry when a boy calls her fat or when the popular girls shun her because I won't let her dress like a whore.

But then I think, shit. Who better than me to raise a girl to say, Fuck you? I'll just do what my mom did, and then use some of the tricks and skills I've learned along the way. Times are changing fast, but one thing is certain--it's not easy for the girls, and until girls can learn to bond, and stay bonded, work together (and not AGAINST men, either. But you don't see men being catty and tearing each other down the way women sometimes do) we're just going to keep letting the money-makers dictate the social rules that keep us consuming messages and materials that, in the end, don't do anything but create more problems.

My mom's attempts to educate us about marketers' techniques and aims didn't protect me from hurt feelings or insecurities, but it did enable me to think critically about some things. It didn't protect me from wanting to look like the airbrushed models or from wanting to be perfect, but it did alert me to the fact that the pull I felt towards certain things was a result of marketing ploys.

I know it's hard for boys in a lot of ways, and for men, too. But fucking A. I think it's high time to start demanding more from each other as women, if we ever hope to undermine and overcome the psychological ropes binding us from actually being able to truly and collectively see ourselves as equal to men.

Ratherto said...

They have an article called "Nora's Vag"? That seems rather personal...I'd sue them.

But seriously..Nora you are a great mommy:)

Nora said...

Thanks, Rath. If there's ever an article called Nora's Vag, I better get tons of money from it.

theeriver said...

I think we need padded bras for 5 year olds. When I was a 5 year old, if girls dressed more slutty. I think I would of started at an earlier age, then I could of gotten the numbers Wilt Chamberlain is hitting...

Nora said...

River, they ARE for five year olds!

As for hitting the numbers Wilt Chamberlain hit, either he was lying, or he pulled an Annabelle Chong more than once. Either way, yikes.

theeriver said...

Self Esteem is highly overrated.

If girls didn't have self esteem issues where would us ugly guys be.

Or would those busineess guys meet for high powered lunches instead of going to the strip joint.

The sex industry would be non-exsitent.

I couldn't see a world without strippers, or porn stars.

Nora said...

I don't think those things are mutually exclusive, River.

If high self-esteem were a requirement in the sex trade, porn would be of a much higher quality and would probably better guide men in how to actually be good in bed.

I imagine what you really know about what goes on in sex workers' heads and what levels their self-esteems actually are could fill a reservoir tip.

Just because you may frequent a club and feel like you 'know' Destiny or Sindy doesn't mean you actually know what they're thinking, how they really feel about themselves or what their out-of-the-club lives are like. They're working, and they're probably working you.

theeriver said...

Nora said, " imagine what you really know about what goes on in sex workers' heads and what levels their self-esteems actually are could fill a reservoir tip.

Just because you may frequent a club and feel like you 'know' Destiny or Sindy doesn't mean you do."

Well I was being facetious.

Besides bouncing back in the day I use to drive strippers and porn stars to their locations, and work security for them. I got to know some of them pretty well.

Did I know what exactly was going on in their head, no one does, but I did know if their boyfriend beat them up that day, or their father abused them when they were little. If they needed a couple lines of coke before they performed, or how many surgeries they needed for their never perfect bodies.

I never did know a Sindy, I did know a Destiny. I also knew a Panther who I called Kim, who took a bottle of pills and killed herself because she didn't think anyone loved her.

No your right what I know doesn't fill a tip of the condom. For the first step of wisdom is to know I know nothing.

As for self esteem, sometimes this world can beat you down. It's up to you to stand up and say "I have worth, my life means something.". No one can do that for you. If you don't you will be a victim all your life.

Nora said...

Hey, hey. Look who told me what's what.

Well said, River. Thanks for setting me straight. But having said all of that, were you being facetious about your post I was responding to?

If you know at least that much about the sex workers you've known, doesn't that change the way you feel about how the sex trade is operated? I'm not saying that porn or strip clubs are wrong--far from it. But I do wonder how the clashing attitudes, misconceptions and assumptions people make about the industry and the workers serve to perpetuate the kind of low self-esteem and self-hatred that result in sad stories, like Kim's.

theeriver said...

Yes I wasn't being serious in the first couple posts here.

Now I know some tragedies, I didn't say they all were. I know quite a few woman who moved on to bigger and better things after stripping they used it as a tool, and nothing more.

It's what you allow yourself to believe. I know McDonalds workers that dread their job and stigmatism, and I know some of them that rose through the ranks, and now are quite wealthy because they bought their own.

Nora said...

That's the notion I agree with--not letting things like labels, jobs, assumptions, presumptions or social positions victimize you. And that's hard to do with subtle and pervasive messages, like, oh, say the psychology of advertising or the dominant social structure, reinforcing the standards.

Shit, it's not like rich or self-made women don't suffer from low self-esteem, participate in abusive relationships or do things they don't want to do because they have to. Same with men, too. But we all get used to seeing things in certain ways, we don't even bother trying on other perspectives.

theeriver said...

I don't think they make women's perspective's my size to try on.

Jenn said...

Oh, you are going to LOVE this! We were having a party for my bonus daughter on Sunday for her birthday and Peyton (my daughter) gets droopped off by her dad's girlfriend a little bit after the party started. I am going around checking on how my guests where doing and I turn to say hi to her and there they were!! She had BOOBS!!!
As quick as a fly shits on food, I leaned over to her and whispered, "Are you wearing padded bra?!"
She looks at me with that deer in the headlight look and she whimpers, "Yes, Emalee gave it to me."
Which I replied, "Get your butt in the house and TAKE IT OFF!!!"
Ugh! I was taken aback! He is my little, sweet inccocent 10 year old with a Dolly Patron rack!! (OK, I exaggerate, but it was very NOTICABLE!) I can't believe that she had it on, and her dad let her wear it AND she was wearing it in the good old Wilmington "Catfish Days"!
Woes me, here we go...
She did as she was told and tonight we are going to have a long talk about why I made her take it off! Talk about a coincidence...I swear she wants to grow up so fast...
It is funny how when we are young, we would kill to be 16, then 18, then 21...once we reach a certain age, all we want to do is go back in time. Why can't we just be happy with the day that we are in, for what we have now, and for who we get to share it with...
We always want bigger, better, more and more...

Nora said...

Dude, what a crazy coincidence. It's like you were prepared by the universe for such an event. Doesn't that make you want to call your mom and tell her you love her?

Gotta call Jude!

theeriver said...

Jenn said, "We always want bigger, better, more and more..."

I wonder if there is a market for padded jockstraps for 10 yr old boys.