The people in my office have been replaced with zombies. Oh, how I wish I worked downstairs with Slippy, Chesty and KY. They're so much more fun. Fortunately, the zombies think I'm a brainless moron, so they aren't trying to feast on my gray matter. I'm just going to keep playing dumb and hope for the best. That seems to be my greatest talent in life, so here's to hoping they buy it.
Shh. Don't make any sudden moves...
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18 comments:
Slippy, Chesty, AND KY! Are you working on a porn set or something? Is it Forrest Hump or The Joy Slut Club? lol
Look, the skanky names I choose to bestow upon my friends are a reflection of MY depravity, not theirs.
Up here, we have Slabby, Rigor, Bloated and Stiff. Those should all indicate how dead these people seem. If it weren't for the sounds of typing, or the fact that I'm in the second story of a victorian house, and not in a cement and stainless steel appointed basement, I would be SURE I was actually in a morgue.
Oh, let's not forget the name of another person who works downstairs: Boob.
I guess I am a sicko, eh?
Yeah, I too would rather be surrounded by people with skanky names than those of dead people. Although, Stiff sounds like he could probably fit in either group.
I thought you were leading this anti zombie movement? Why haven't you taken a cricket bat to their heads yet? You have let me down, you have let the movement down!
I'm planning a strategy. If I make one wrong move, I'll become one of them. Then the movement will begin to crumble.
Oh, can I have a sexy moniker in which to be known by?
Remember Nora, they are slow, but don't get caught up with them. That would be bad. Try lighting a bonfire. That should protect you. Also if you have access to a shotgun, I would have that stashed under your desk for escape purposes.
Fuck! All my guns are in the gunsafe I got the Mister for his birthday!
Mike, you shall henceforth be known as DB--Donkey Balls.
Nora if you ignored them the zombies continue to pretend you don't exist unless they need something from you or to gossip about you.
*yawn*
They're boring.
Mike's nickname is Douchebag. But I am warming up to Donkey Balls.
wait that didnt sound quite right.
You can be DS, Rivs. Donkey Schlong.
Donkey Balls? That doesn't sound very flattering. In fact, it sounds like a veiled insult!
Well, let's think up another one for you, then. In fact, you make some suggestions for your new, skanky nickname.
How about "Hot Carl" ?
Bah-hahahahahahahahahaha!
I like it!
Such a dirty name, I like it!
Hot Carl it is. Splendid.
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